General Hospital Redux : High Wire Act
by Stratusfied247
Summary: [Sequel to GHR] Brenda is supposed to marry Jasper Jacks, and she just might be able to pull that off... If Luis Alcazar will leave her alone and stop reminding her of a love that never died. [COMPLETED]
1. Chapter 1

**_This is an installment in the series following General Hospital Redux. All of the cast changes from the previous story have transferred here. This story will follow Luis's actions to get Brenda back, and whether or not she will let herself fall into his arms again. There will be others in the series, but I am posting this one first, as this arc's outcome was the most requested of the open-ended relationships from the original story. Also, these installments will be undoubtedly shorter than the massive story that GHR originally became. Thanks to everyone who left feedback for the prior story and I hope that you enjoy this one as well.

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She thought when the danger was over, he would leave. Once it was clear that his family would be fine, or as fine as that particular group could be, that he would go away and leave her to live her life in peace. Of course, that was wishful thinking and Brenda Barrett couldn't think of one time when her wishful thinking had brought her anything more than disappointment. Why should this time be any different?

It was still too cold to be standing outside without a coat on, but she needed to get away. He was in there, staring at her from across the room, making life a lot more complicated than it had to be. But, then again, nothing with him had ever been simple. There were always so many twists and turns, so many sharp edges to manuever around. Life with Luis Alcazar had never been anything but complicated so to expect anything different now was a fool's game on her part.

But, still, she wanted him to let this be the one time that he let things just lie. For a moment, even after realizing that he was staying in Port Charles, she had thought that maybe he would leave her alone. Her time of solitude proved only to be a slight reprieve, however. A reprieve that lasted until he was healed and able to walk around town without the ache of bullet wounds unhealed.

Then, he was there. He was always there. He showed up at L&B uninvited. He found her hiding out with Ned Ashton at the Quartermaine mansion. He found excuses to have her called to Harborview Towers so he could accidentally-on-purpose run into her in the lobby. If the renovation of The Cellar were complete, he would have surely followed here there, too. And tonight… Tonight, he was in Luke's for no good reason, and when the air was warm enough, he would be on the Haunted Star, too. There was no place she could go to escape him.

Brenda looked down to her left hand and sighed. As her wedding to Jax drew closer, Luis's visits became more frequent and more bold. The announcement in the Port Charles Herald, and various other papers around the country, seemed to spur him on. He hoped to have her back, and he had to do it before she walked down the aisle. So, instead of just smiling at her, he spoke to her. Instead of sarcastic comments about Jasper Jacks, he gave her memories of their better times together.

Thank God for Lois Cerullo. If it weren't for Lois, she would have broken by now. Lois may have been long-time friends of the Alcazars, but she was faithful to her friendship with Brenda. She knew that her best friend was weak and she would crumble under Luis's pressure. She was firm in her motivation. "Jax is a safe life, Brenda. Jax is all the money of Luis, without the running. Without the unnecessary excitement." It was all true, and should have been very good advice.

But then, sometimes, Brenda wondered if it were just good reverse psychology. As much as Lois knew that Brenda needed the security, she also knew that the quickest way to get Brenda to do something was to tell her not to do it. She pressed way too hard at times for her to stay away from Luis. She wondered if Luis had gotten to her already and really, Lois was working against her.

"It's cold out here." Brenda sighed and kept her back turned from him. She stared out across the lot, staring at the cars parked across the way. It figured that he would be the one to come outside.

"What did you do to Jax?"

"Would I do anything to him?"

Brenda could hear the smirk in his voice, and this time, she did turn around. When she looked at him, though, she wished he hadn't. Luis stared at her with light eyes so heated that she swore they should have been darker. The pressure and fire coming from his light blue eyes were something that should have come from brown eyes, or maybe even coal black. It made her uncomfortable, but at the same time, was so familiar that she started to warm the same as she had done in the past. Just one glance from him, at one time, had been enough to heat her blood, and this moment seemed no different.

Brenda shook her head. "If you're out here and Jax is still inside, then you had to have done something." Luis didn't speak, just took off his jacket. "What are you doing?"

"Your shirt's thin, Brenda." He offered her the jacket. "Put this on."

She turned away from him and stared back across the lot. "Go away, Luis," she said with a heavy sigh. "I came out here to get away from you so just… stop looking at me. Stop talking to me. Go back to wherever you were hiding out."

The jacket landed on her shoulders and Brenda sighed. Luis's hands pressed against her arms, just above her elbows, and she groaned. "I didn't do anything to your playboy," he told her. Brenda groaned again. He always called Jax that. He never referred to him as anything that could be construed as acknowledging her impending wedding. He was just the playboy. "Lois told him to give you some time, and I had Sam sneak me out the back."

"I knew you had Lois on your side." Her eyes narrowed. Brenda pressed her palms against the wooden banister. Her fingers wrapped around it and she squeezed. "That's low as hell, Luis. Using my best friend against me. But, of course, you've always played dirty. I should have expected as much. I just expected more from Lois."

"Lois isn't in on anything with me. When she tells you to stay away from me, she means it. She thinks I'll break your heart, again."

"Won't you?" Brenda turned towards him and stared at him with as hard a gaze as she could manage. "The next time you get in trouble, won't you leave again? Won't you run off and save your ass and…" She stopped and shook her head. "Wouldn't you do it, again, Luis?"

"This isn't all my fault, Brenda. I asked you to go with me. Yeah, you had your reasons for staying and they were good ones. But you can't say that I left you, because I tried to get you to come with me."

"So, now it's my fault." She snorted. "That's just like you, Luis. To hand away half the blame and not even answer the real question. Wouldn't you do it, again?"

"If I had to?" His shoulders drooped. "Yes, I would, but I'd do it exactly the same way. You're acting like I ran off without trying. Like I didn't show you how much I wanted to run with you, not away from you. If I had to run again, I'd ask you to come with me, just like I did last time. The question is, would you leave with me this time? Because, in the end, you broke your own heart when you decided to stay in Port Charles."

She opened her mouth to yell at him, but he was right. That was worse than if he'd actually admitted to breaking her heart. No one liked their own misdeeds thrown in their face. Not that she would stop throwing Luis's back at him. As far as Brenda knew, that was the only way to get him to back off, at least a little bit. But, to hear her own…

She had broken her own heart. Luis could have easily gotten this stuff together and been gone by the time she got back to their apartment, but he wasn't. He did his best to convince her to go with him, and when he realized that it wasn't going to happen, he made love to her one last time. She had a broken heart because she wasn't able to give up her ties to Port Charles. If Luis had a broken heart, it was because of the same thing.

"I know you wanted me to come back for you, Brenda." Luis lifted his hand and gently caressed her cheek. His fingertips moved lightly over the bone, then fell to the corner of her mouth. He tapped her lips lightly, then floated his fingertips across her lips. He didn't touch them, but he was close enough that it felt as though he had. "He told me when I got back, and I swear, if I'd have known you weren't well…"

"I was fine," she lied.

"If I'd have known, I'd have sent for you when it was safe. If I knew you'd have come…" He sighed and shook his head. In an instant, he went from heartfelt to conniving. "You know the playboy can't make you happy, Brenda. He'll bore the hell out of you by the end of your wedding night."

She could have been glad that he finally acknowledged that a wedding was going to take place, but she was annoyed that he could say something so crude. "What was that, a whole ten minutes of you talking about your feelings? That's a record."

"I try to do something new every day." He winked at her then sighed. "You were happy with me, Brenda. You can't deny that."

"I was in danger with you, Luis. I've been shot at, nearly kidnapped, and God knows what else while I was with you, Luis. With Jax… I get nothing but an easy, loving life. No gunshots. No mobsters, or drug lords, or anything else."

"You loved it and you know it. Just like you know that you aren't in love with him. You could pretend while I was away, but now that I'm back, how long can you really pull this off, huh? Just let it go, Brenda. Better to get out now and come back where you belong than to go through with this farce of a marriage and end up a divorceé."

Brenda looked up at him, but couldn't find any words to stay to him. Her lips pursed. Her eyes closed for a second. She shook her head slowly, then finally reopened her eyes. "Sometimes, Luis, I think you might be right, and then others… I just figure it's better than being a widow."

Brenda shrugged her shoulders and let his jacket fall to the ground. She stepped to the side and walked around Luis, her back as straight as possible. From behind, he couldn't see the tears that she fought to hold inside. From behind, he couldn't see just how much the idea of being Luis Alcazar's widow really hurt her… And it was a lot more than the vision of being Jasper Jacks's ex-wife.


	2. Chapter 2

The ring made her finger itch. It had never done that before. Since the day Jax slid it down her slender finger, the ring had been comfortable. It had signified home, in a way. Not just a place to live, but a place to just... be. She honestly hadn't thought that it was a feeling she would experience. The closest she'd come to it in the past, well... There wasn't a ring involved there, but there were other things.

Brenda sighed and twisted her engagement ring absently. It could have been the diamonds, not necessarily itching her ring finger, but the digits beside it. At four carats, the princess cut jewels were wide and bumped against her pinky and middle fingers. But that wouldn't explain the urge to rip the ring off of her finger and scratch where it had previously laid.

This was all Luis's fault. She could probably blame everything on Luis, and more than once, she had placed blame with him for things that were nowhere near his fault. _Stub your toe?_ Yeah, that was Luis's fault. _Spilled some champagne?_ Yeah, Luis did that. But this time... this time, it really was his fault. This time, he'd shown back up in her life and made it perfectly clear that he was there to destroy what she'd rebuilt after his last departure. This time, the itchy ring and anything after it really was Luis's fault.

"I should just do like Lois said and ignore him." Brenda sighed, then rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's easier said than done. You don't just ignore someone like that." Her voice was low as she muttered to herself, moving back and forth across the floor. "Just... put it out of your mind. That's it. You've got a wedding to plan. A big, huge..."

"Wedding." Brenda jumped and spun around. Jax stood in the doorway, leaning to the side. His legs were crossed at the ankles. His right hand was shoved into the pocket of his slate gray designer suit. He looked for all the world like the cover of GQ. She thought that she probably looked like the cover of the most recent psychiatric magazine... One that had to do with insanity. "Talking to yourself again?"

"Yeah." Brenda giggled nervously, then shook her head. "Told you I was crazy. Insane, even." She almost said that it was Luis's fault, but thought better of it. Mentioning your ex-boyfriend to your current fiancee was bad form. Not even Brenda Barrett was that tactless. "I was just thinking about some stuff."

"I heard." Jax stood up straight and pulled his hand out of his pocket. He walked slowly towards her, a small smile curving his lips upwards. "Something about... a wedding?" His smile widened as he drew nearer to her. Jax put his hands on her hips. "A huge wedding?" He bent and kissed her lips lightly. "Possibly even the biggest wedding to hit Port Charles in years."

"Bigger than Lois's, even? Because Lois was like... a princess when she got married."

"Why be a princess when you can be a queen?" He winked at her, then kissed her again. Brenda giggled and Jax tapped the tip of her nose. "It's your wedding, Brenda. Whatever you want, that's what you get."

"I like that," she said softly. Staring up at Jax, she wondered how anyone could ever insinuate that there was a choice to be made at all. On the one hand, there was the man of her dreams. He was legal and there was never the fear that he would run. He was devoted. He loved her. He was marrying her, after all.

And on the other hand, there was Luis.

Looking at Jax, feeling his hands on her hips... Brenda was able to forget for a moment the thoughts that had gone through her head as she walked away from Luis outside of Luke's. She preferred to forget that conversation more than most others she'd shared with Luis since his arrival in Port Charles. That particular conversation was too full of admissions. Not to him, or anyone else, but to herself.

To think of that... She would have to admit that she had at one point thought of herself as being Brenda Barrett-Alcazar. Actually, though, in the early days of those thoughts, it had just been Brenda Alcazar. But, times changed. There were people in the music industry who knew her, felt comfortable with her, and she wasn't too sure how well they would take an abrupt name change. But a hyphen... A hyphen she could do.

Honestly, the first time she saw him, when he strutted into her office at L&B with Lucky Spencer at his back... Just before the anger hit and she ran to him, pummeling his chest with her small fists, she'd thought of it again. Within a brief second, she had lived an entire fantasy where the ring on her finger was from Luis and he was coming to take her out to dinner so they could finish planning their wedding. But, reality had hit.

She wasn't marrying Luis, so her nightmares of becoming a widow wouldn't come true. He was long gone from her life, and so were her dreams of being Mrs. Brenda Barrett-Alcazar. He had seen it, too, when his eyes landed on her engagement ring. He knew that he wouldn't be her husband, even if he denied it.

But, it all led to another admission. That part of her fully expected to be divorced from Jax within a few years... because she was marrying him for security and as much love as she could possibly have, but not nearly enough to stay married forever. She could force herself to believe that she was madly in love with Jax and they had a forever love, but in the end... The part that she squashed kept saying the same thing. The part that she refused to let swim to the surface because it would only cause trouble still broke the waves, anyway. I'd rather be Jax's ex-wife than Luis's widow.

"Now, why do I think that you're not thinking about the wedding anymore?"

Brenda looked up at Jax with a small amount of shame. She shouldn't have been thinking about Luis at all, let alone while in Jax's arms, but it could have been worse. She could have actually brought it up and spoke about it. "I just have things on my mind," she said.

Sighing, Brenda stepped away from Jax and turned. She looked down at her desk and hoped that he would assume that the things on her mind were work related. Of course, that was asking Jax to be stupid, and that's one thing he'd never been. It didn't take a genius to notice the constant twisting of the rings, or her reluctance to talk about anything. Though, she thought that it possibly did take a genius not to talk about those things. For the time being, Jax was Albert Einstein, but she felt deep down that it wouldn't last for long.

Jax's sigh was heavy behind her. "It's after two in the morning, and you're in your office, but I don't believe that any of this has anything to do with L&B work."

"Jax..." She dropped her hands to her sides and turned to him. "If you mean tonight at the club... That's just..." She shook her head. "Things are complicated there."

"I know, and we've talked about that. And every time we talk about it, you tell me that you love me, that you're happy with me."

"I do, Jax. I am." She sighed and her shoulders slumped. She took in a few small breaths, then crossed back to Jax. She took his hands in hers and squeezed. "We're getting married, Jax. Luis doesn't have anything to do with that. Yeah, he's persistent, but..." She shrugged. "That's how he is."

"Persistence, I can understand. Who wouldn't be persistent to reclaim you?" He leaned down and kissed the corner of her mouth. "But, I don't plan to have to reclaim you. I'm not letting you go." He stared down into her eyes with intensity and seriousness. "Can you say the same, Brenda?"

"I'm marrying you, Jasper Jacks. Not Luis Alcazar, or anyone else. And before you ask, no I don't know if things would have turned out differently if Luis had left. Maybe he's not even the marrying type. I mean, he's nearly 40 years old and he's still single, never been married. Whatever, though... I just don't know, Jax. I dont' know if things would have been different, or if they'd have ended up exactly the way they are now." She moved into him and slid her arms around his back. "With the two of us engaged, on our way to being husband and wife."

Brenda pressed her head against Jax's chest. His arms wrapped around her. She waited for him to say something, to continue a discussion she hadn't wanted in the first place. That was her reason for going to L&B that late night. To get away from any and all discussing and be able to think. The words didn't come, though, and they stood there embracing.

But behind his back, Brenda was resisting the urge to twist her ring because it was itching again.


	3. Chapter 3

She hadn't expected to see him again.

No. That wasn't right.

She hadn't WANTED to see him again.

Sadly, that TOO was wrong. Brenda knew she was going to see him and part of her wanted to see him, but she STILL wasn't sure how to deal with actually seeing Luis Alcazar.

This all had to be part of his plan. He was trying to make her heart grow fonder, but all his absence did was let her dwell in the life that she was steadily moving towards. Without the constant pressure of Luis, she could imagine that he'd left town. She could picture herself as Jax's wife, and maybe even one day having a house full of little Jacks's running around. She could make an illusion for herself to live in. She could keep the promise she had made to herself to stop being so goddamned self-destructive.

"I thought you had given up," she said, her voice as steady as she could force it. "I thought that maybe, just maybe, you'd have seen just how bad you are for me and just let me go."

Brenda knew that Luis didn't always take hints well, so she'd laid it out for him. She thought that making him think of what a life together could mean, he would back off. She had thrown the harsh reality of it all in his face. Sure, they could get married and pretend they'd have happily-ever-after, but in the end, the possibility was great that he would die, and she would be left to cry on Lois's shoulder.

"It was just a small business trip," he told her. He looked around, then took a deep breath. "Spring's almost here."

"Don't, Luis." Brenda looked to either side and wondered what would be easier. Trying to get past him, or turning around and going back up the stairs that led away from the docks. The stairs would probably be easier but… Did she really want to turn her back on him? More than likely, the answer to that was a resounding no.

"Don't what? I can't comment on the weather?"

"You're not commenting on the weather. This is just… it's you being you, and do you know what you is? You is putting in a segue to some offer you've got waiting. Spring means that you can take your yacht out to sea. Spring means that it's almost winter somewhere else, and oh, but wouldn't I love to go with you. The answer is no, Luis. So, don't bother asking."

"I wasn't going to ask." He smirked and she knew he was lying. His next words were going to be some temptation to take her off somewhere. Maybe he'd talk about taking her back to Venezuela. She hadn't seen it in years, and surely he'd have found new things to do down there while he was at the Alcazar compound. "I was going to say that the air must have been what sent us both out walking on the docks."

"You're lying, again." She sighed and shook her head. "You're impossible, and you just… you don't get the point, Luis. I'm marrying Jax."

"Oh, I get the point. I get the point that you were handing over so eagerly the last time we talked."

"Luis…"

"The point is that you still love me, and you're denying it. You said it yourself, Brenda. Better to be the playboy's ex-wife than a widow." Luis gave a short, bark of a laugh. "You've invented a reason that you and I can't be together, and you probably started thinking of it the first day that I walked into your office. From the second you saw me, you were coming up with ways to be away from me, because you want to be with me so much."

Brenda opened her mouth to tell him how wrong he was, then closed it quickly. Either way, she couldn't answer him without getting a reaction that she didn't want. She couldn't react to his words without giving him hope. The truth was that she'd imagined a happy life with him in that first millisecond. The lie was that he was right, that she'd concocted some story, but within that lie held truth. That she did want him, and had tried her best to keep herself from wanting him.

"You can't promise me that you won't die on me, Luis."

"Can anyone promise that?" His head tilted to the side. "Can your playboy promise you that some wronged former business partner won't suddenly decide to pick up a gun? Hell, Brenda, can he promise that he won't walk out into the street tomorrow and get hit by a car."

"No, but you can promise that if he is hit by a car, you won't be the one driving it."

Luis's eyes were so serious that Brenda was afraid of what would come out of his mouth. The humor that had been there, drifting on the edges of his oceanic eyes had vanished in less than a second. "Truth, Brenda? I thought about killing him." Luis shook his head slightly, one brisk shake, then said, "But I knew you would never forgive me for that. My point is to take you away from him, not to lose you forever."

Brenda stared at him, in shock. Not because of what he said, but because he'd said it at all. She had no illusions about what Luis and Lorenzo were. She knew that they lived in a bloody world and that, often, their initial instinct was to get rid of their competition. As far as Luis were concerned, Jax was just another competitor who needed to be dealt with. Though she wouldn't admit it to herself, she knew that some part of her had been waiting for the report that Jasper Jacks had been found shot somewhere, or his car blew up, or any number of things that resulted in his death.

However, she hadn't expected Luis to just come right out and say it. He'd never been one to speak so openly about things, especially matters that involved such ruthless behavior. And yet, there he was, telling her more truth than she could remember him ever saying without at least an hour's worth of arguing before it. Truth had just fallen upon her ears, and she knew that she could believe him. He wouldn't kill Jax because he loved her too much, and he was too selfish. He didn't care about breaking her heart, or the guilt that would be laid upon her. He just didn't want to lose her completely.

"Can you really do this, Brenda?" Luis's eyes were suddenly alight with humor and breeziness. The moment of severity was over, and he could be his normal, jovial and slightly sardonic self. "Can you really marry a man that you're not completely in love with?"

"How do you know how much I'm in love with Jax?"

"Because if you were truly in love with him, you wouldn't have made him so obviously the winner by default. He wouldn't be your safe bet. If you loved him completely, Brenda, I wouldn't be able to see the longing for me that's in your eyes. I wouldn't see you shaking with the strength it takes for you to stand there and not touch me."

"Luis…" She closed her eyes and turned to the side. Love was starting to be a detestable thing. She did love Jax. She wouldn't have agreed to marry him if she didn't. But she'd never given up that love for Luis. There was a part of her heart that was sealed off, labelled 'Alcazar' and would only be opened up to him.

"I'll leave you until your wedding," he said. Brenda didn't look at him. She kept her eyes closed and her head turned. She felt his fingertips against her cheek and her body tightened. "We both know that, even if you make it down the aisle, you won't be able to go through with it. You won't marry anyone unless he has all of your love, and the only person you can honestly share that with is me."

And then he was gone. Brenda caught a whiff of his cologne as he moved past her. She heard his heavy footsteps going up the stairs. Only when she was sure he was gone did she open her eyes. She turned towards the harbor and stared out at the dark and murky water.

Luis was hitting below the belt. This had gone beyond reminding her of love and into making her feel guilty. And she should have felt guilty. She wasn't giving Jax the amount of love he deserved, she knew that. But she also felt that he knew she still loved Luis. He obviously wasn't worried about the path of their marriage, because the wedding was still on. He obviously had faith in Brenda's love for him, faith that she would become his wife and they would be happy together.

With Luis's scent still in her nostrils, however, Brenda wished that her faith was as strong.


	4. Chapter 4

"So, that's it." Lorenzo Alcazar stood over the bar in his penthouse, his hands hovering over the glasses and canisters. He threw a few cubes of ice into a lead crystal glass, then splashed three fingers of scotch over the top. He turned slowly and looked at his brother with incredulity. "You expect me to believe that you're just going to leave her alone."

Luis smirked. Lorenzo never did have much faith in him, or see the method in his madness. Not that Luis could blame him. He'd changed his mind enough times where his personal life was concerned that he could easily be considered flaky. Though, when it came to Brenda, Lorenzo should have known he knew what he was doing. Who knew her better than Luis, anyway? Not a soul. Not even herself.

Laughing, Luis stretched his arms out on either side along the back of the sofa. He crossed his legs, hooking his right ankle over his left knee, and rolled his head to the side. His lips pursed, flattening his chin, then released his mouth with a smack. "I know what I'm doing, Lorenzo. Trust me."

Lorenzo barked a laugh. "That's a good one. Trust you." He took a sip from his drink, then pursed his lips. He took another sip, then walked casually to a large leather chair to Luis's left. He held his glass gingerly with his fingertips. "The last time I trusted you…"

"I took a bullet in the shoulder."

"No." He narrowed his eyes, then took another drink, this time longer. "I'm talking about your judgment where your own mess is concerned, and you know that." Lorenzo rolled his eyes, then ran a hand through his hair. "I know better than to trust you. You'll always make the wrong decision."

"Is that why you didn't tell me that Brenda wanted me to come and get her?"

"Don't give me that, Luis." Lorenzo bent forward and set his glass down hard on the mahogany coffee table before him. He rested his forearms on his legs, elbows just above the knees leaving part of his arms to dangle, and cocked his head towards his brother. "We both know exactly why I didn't tell you and it has more to do with her than it does with you."

"Now, who's feeding who a line, _hermano_?"

"You're the one who feeds lines, Luis. I deal in the truth." Lorenzo leaned back in the chair, slouching. His black shirt, opened down to the third button, wrinkled at his stomach. His slacks bunched at the top of his thighs. He was obviously tired, weary of the drama that always came along with Luis. "The truth is, Luis, that she needed to move on. How long do you think Brenda would have lasted on the run with you? A few weeks here and there is one thing, but years… You would have never come back here if Corinthos hadn't showed up in town. But, she would have come back. And we both know that, with the right pressure, she'd have given you up. You'd have landed in jail, and she would have never forgiven herself. So, don't tell me that I kept something from you just because I don't trust your judgment. You're not the only person involved here."

Luis looked at Lorenzo and groaned. He hated when his brother was right, and that happened often. Probably because Lorenzo actually thought things through. Luis was more prone to just get up and go, do whatever popped into his mind at the moment. Occasionally, he would think something out, but never as thoroughly as his brother. Thought typically equalled right where the brothers Alcazar were concerned, which meant that nine times out of ten, Luis was going to be wrong.

But, he wasn't wrong this time. He didn't think he'd ever been wrong where Brenda was concerned. He might not have always been perfectly on cue, but he'd never been completely wrong. He could have taken her away with him when he left, talked her into it or even drugged her and carried her off. But, he'd left her there. He'd known that she wouldn't last long, that in the end, she'd grow to hate him for taking her away from everything, for getting her involved in his underworld garbage all over again. But, he knew that she would never stop loving him. He knew that she would always be there whenever he made it back to Port Charles. He knew she would always belong to him.

"Spring break is coming soon," Luis said, rolling his eyes to look towards the fireplace. "I thought I'd take the girls and Michael down to Caracas for a little fun."

"Like Carly and I would let you take our kids, anywhere? Let alone AJ. You're not my idea of adult supervision." Lorenzo snorted. "And stop changing the subject."

Luis gave his brother a growl. "No faith in me at all." He rolled his eyes as Lorenzo shrugged. What a wonderful twin he had. Luis sighed and shook his head. "We both know that Brenda could never love anyone other than me."

"So says the man who's not currently engaged to her."

"Bah!" Luis stood up, jerked up as though he were on strings. He crossed over to the bar and picked up a large decanter of bourbon. He held the neck tightly in his hand, his head turned towards the fireplace.

"That's Carly's favorite," Lorenzo told him. "You break it, she'll ban you from this penthouse."

"And she'll forgive me in a couple of days when I replace it." He sat the decanter down, then picked it back up. Foregoing ice, Luis poured half a crystal tumbler, then drank half of it quickly. He turned towards Lorenzo and grimaced. "She won't marry him."

"The wedding is in a month, Luis. She's still taking RSVPs."

Luis looked at him in shock. "Don't tell me you and Carly got an invite."

"Not hardly." Lorenzo rolled his eyes, then picked up his glass. He finished the rest of the scotch, then put the glass back down. Ice clinked against the sides. Lorenzo sat back in his chair and smirked. "Jason and Sam got invites, and she's making Jason go."

"Wonderful." Luis knocked back the rest of his drink, then poured another. "He'll be there to see the fall of Jasper Jacks." Luis walked back to the sofa and sat down hard. The bourbon sloshed inside the glass, just low enough not to spill over the top. He stuck a finger in between his tie and shirt, ripping at the tie. Suddenly, it was choking him. It could have had anything to do with insecurity. Luis wasn't an insecure man. He surmised that it had to be because of Lorenzo. "Trust me, Lorenzo, she won't marry him."

"You keep saying that, and she keeps on planning." Lorenzo's head rolled to the side. His hair fell into his face and he shoved it back. His hand lingered in his hair for a moment, then fell to the arm of the chair. "Face it, Luis, you might have missed your chance."

"Never." He took a drink from his glass, then lifted it to his head. Even without ice, the side of the glass was cool against his skin. "Why can't you just believe that Brenda's in love with me, and only me?"

"Because she's marrying someone else."

"By default. Don't forget that." He let his arm fall down until the bottom of his glass rested against his thigh. He rolled his head towards Lorenzo. "She may have some love for him, but I'm the only one she'll ever marry."

Lorenzo laughed. "You? Get married? Why don't I see that in your immediate future? Or your distant future for that matter?"

"Because you think you're the only Alcazar that can do right by a woman. But, let me tell you something, _hermano_. You're not. I love her, and I know that she'll be mine. I've left her with the thoughts. I've left her with the memories. Even if she makes it down the aisle, she'll never go through with the ceremony. The only last name she'll be hyphenating with is Alcazar. You can count on that."

Luis tipped his glass towards his brother and grinned. Lorenzo didn't return the expression, but Luis didn't really care. Whether Lorenzo believed in him or not didn't matter. Whether he believed in the love that his brother shared with Brenda didn't matter. The only thing that counted was what Luis knew. That Brenda would never make it to becoming Mrs. Jacks. She would never be able to make it through vows that she knew she'd never be able to keep. Brenda Barrett would be his again, just as she was always meant to be.


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you doing?"

Brenda froze, her body going rigid. Her fingers clenched tightly around the window sill. It hadn't been the best plan, she knew that. It hadn't even been a really good one. At any moment, someone could have come into the room, as was seen by Lois's abrupt entrance. Besides that, she was in her wedding dress. What if the dress caught on something? She'd be hanging outside of a window by silk, until that silk ripped and she ended up on her face in the flowerbed below. No, it wasn't a very good plan at all, but it was the only one she had.

"I was just, um, getting some fresh air."

"You always get air with your head out the window and your feet on the radiator?"

Brenda sighed and jumped back down. "You're horrible, Lois." She looked down at her dress, hoping that there would be some kind of smudge on it. Something that would give her cause to stop everything. The dress, however, was spotless.

The day wasn't turning out the way she had planned. Honestly, the last month had just felt off. She hadn't actually expected Luis to go away. Not… all at once. But, oddly enough, he had held to his word. There were no flowers sent to her office. No special deliveries came to her home. He didn't come up to her on the street, or send Lucky to her with messages. He just… He didn't exist.

That should have set her at ease, but it just made her more anxious. She was waiting for the bottom to drop out. Because of him, this entire day made her one big ball of nerves. Each second that passed was one second closer to when Luis barged through that door and reclaimed her once and for all. She could picture him with guns blazing, out for Jax's blood and anyone else who stood in his way. In the end, there'd be blood everywhere and she would over Luis's shoulder, headed for nowhere.

"You were trying to run away." Lois's eyes narrowed. She folded her arms and pursed her lips. "This is about Luis, isn't it?"

"No." She folded her arms and tried to be firm, but couldn't stop herself from following her negative with, "Maybe." Her arms dropped and she sighed. "Yes." Brenda gathered her skirts and crossed the room. She fell down in a large chair and groaned. "This dress is just… it's not comfortable."

"You picked it out."

"Because Luis and I were having this big fairy tale wedding and you have a fairy tale wedding in a big princess-type dress."

"Luis?"

"What?"

"You said Luis."

"No, I didn't."

"Brenda…"

She sighed and closed her eyes. Her head fell backwards and Brenda groaned. She probably had said Luis, even though she couldn't consciously remember it. But, that didn't really mean anything. He was on her mind, his pronounced absense was on her mind, so of course, his name would just slip out. Besides, Lois had just said his name. It all made sense. It didn't mean anything.

"Talk to me, Brenda." Lois pulled a chair up in front of her and sat down. She leaned forward and took hold of Brenda's hands. "Tell me what's going on with you."

Brenda opened her eyes and sat up slowly. She looked at Lois and wondered exactly what was going on. She wasn't afraid of marrying Jax. It was the one thing she could do in life that shouldn't have scared her. He was the perfect husband, a dream. Rich, powerful, loving… Any girl would be blessed and lucky to be his wife. So why wasn't she falling over herself with excitement?

"I love Jax," Brenda said softly. "I do. I love him like… Like I never thought I'd love anybody again, ya know? When Luis left… Lois, if it weren't for you and Robin, I would have never made it through that. I was broken inside when he left, and for the first time since then, I feel whole again."

"If you're so sure about him, why were you trying to go out the window? Ya know, Robin told me to come in here and check on you. She knew that you were up to something, but she has no clue what's going on. None of us have told her about Luis trying to get you back, but she's not stupid, Brenda."

"I know. I'm surprised she even came back." She sighed. "Robin doesn't even know Jax, but she knew Luis. She knew what we had and yet… she's not telling me to run from Jax."

"And neither am I. Brenda, I know how much you loved him, but more than that, I know how much Luis loved you. I know it hurt him to have to leave you, but still… it hurt you more. Can you really live through that again? Can you live through waiting for him to run off?"

"You're talking like I'm rethinking the whole thing."

"Aren't you? Look at it, Brenda. On your wedding day, you're on your way out the window, in your wedding dress. Isn't that rethinking it?"

"No. That's… It's… I don't know what it is." She pulled her hands back from Lois and stood up. Slowly, she walked back and forth across the room. Her arms folded, she rubbed her upper arms. She was cold, for some reason, though the church was well heated. "I know that Luis is going to ruin this day, Lois. I know it. So, I'd just rather not do it now. I'd rather do it when he can't ruin it."

"He's not here, Brenda." Lois stood up. "He hasn't been here for a month and, ya know, I'm starting to think that was his plan all along. I thought it was good that he'd left you alone. I thought he was realizing that he couldn't make you leave Jax, but in the end, that's exactly what he's doing."

"How?"

"By making you remember what your fantasy wedding used to be." Lois looked at her and shook her head. "He's reminded you of all the love, all the good times, and now you've just had time to think about it. With him around, you didn't have to think about it. You could focus on your anger. You could be mad at him for leaving, then just showing back up. But, with him gone…"

"With him gone, I can remember it without the anger."

"So, without the anger, you remember it all." Lois stepped up to her and looked her square in the eyes. "You remember what it felt like when he left, and how we had to hold you together. You remember walking around at night because you couldn't sleep without him. And then…"

Brenda waited, but nothing came. Finally, she asked, "Then what?"

"Then, remember everything he's said to you and ask yourself if he's ever really lied to you. He told you what his business was, and he told you when he had to leave. So, you remember that, and then really think about the next time he has to run."

"If he'll take me with him?"

"And if you really want to go. Because this is the time to do it, Brenda. We can tell all those people to go home right now, if you want. Then, you'll just have to explain it to Jax. But, if that's what you're going to do, you make the decision now, so you can tell him in private instead of in front of all those people."


	6. Chapter 6

Her stomach rolled and clenched. More than once, Brenda thought she was going to throw up. Her beautiful white dress would be ruined, but at least she'd feel better. Just as long as she got it all out of her system.

But still… she wasn't so sure that throwing up would solve it. The things that she needed to get out of her system weren't in her stomach. They were in her head and her heart. They were things that she was too afraid to say, because she didn't want to hurt anyone. She didn't want to see the pain of loss in anyone's eyes, or the confusion as he said that he didn't understand.

Jax didn't deserve this; a bride trying to hold herself in one place. A bride that did her best not to cut and run. But, Brenda thought if she could just make it through the ceremony, she would be alright. Once she was pronounced as the new Mrs. Jacks, she would be able to look out at the people who'd come to wish her well and know that she'd done the right thing. She'd know that this was what she should have done, and thoughts of eventually being the ex-Mrs. Jasper Jacks would be nowhere in her mind. She would only think of the future and her happiness.

But as her eyes drifted to the side, the only thoughts were those of disappointment. He actually hadn't shown out. Brenda had been sure that out of her peripheral, she would have seen Luis standing at the back of the church, waiting for her to make that final decision, waiting for her to stop this farce and come running to him. The sheer fact that he'd be there, all cocky and smirking, would have been enough for her to get through to the end of the ceremony. As it were, she wanted to run off and scream at him for not having the decency to show up and repeat all that garbage about marrying her.

Then, there was movement. Her eyes shifted as she saw Jason Morgan get up from his seat and try to quietly excuse himself. He held a phone to his ear but… When had he gotten a call? Had he just come to the wedding to report on it to Luis? No, tha was stupid. She'd invited Sam, and Sam had forced him to come. She knew that, already. Jason must have just gotten a call in the middle of it and left to be polite. That's what the vibrate function was for, after all. Of course, Jason Morgan being polite didn't exactly happen on a regular basis.

She went through the motions of the rings sliding on their fingers. Brenda repeated the words that were handed to her by the priest. Jax repeated them, and she felt that his meant more than hers. Jax was actually in love. She was… Well… Brenda was in love alright, but as she grew closer and closer to being someone else's wife, she started to think that it wasn't her bridegroom that held that much of her love.

"…now, or forever hold their piece."

And then, everything went still. She hadn't heard the beginning of the line, but now, she heard every piece of silence. She heard all the noise that made true silence only a myth. Breaths were held, but the hiss of taking them in was audible. Purses moved. Bodies slid against the pews. She even thought she could hear the rolling of hands as people waited to see what was going to happen. To see if Brenda was going to speak now. To see if the church doors flew open and Luis spoke now.

Time stood still for Brenda. She looked around the church, waiting, almost hopeful. Surely Robin or Lois would see that she shouldn't have gone through with this. Surely one of them would say something and get her out of it. Well, maybe Robin would, but Lois had already told her that she wouldn't. She hadn't said those words exactly, but she'd made it perfectly clear that Brenda had to do this on her own.

And then, there was movement at the doors.

Everyone turned, surely expecting to see the face of an Alcazar, but it was only Jason. He didn't say anything, just stood there with the doors open behind him. He was just coming back inside. Brenda turned away from the doors and looked at Jax… but it wasn't Jax. She looked up at Luis, and he told her that he loved her. She reached up to touch his face, but by the time she got there, it was Jax again. Her fingers touched his cheek and she watched as he shifted between the two… Jax, Luis, Jax, Luis, Jax…

Luis.

"If no one has anything to say, then by…"

"Stop!" Brenda froze and, for a second, she didn't realize that she'd been the one to speak. Her arms fell to her sides slowly and she moved backwards. She kept moving until she bumped into Lois. She felt Robin rush up to her side. She felt Lois touch her back. She looked to either side and saw Jerry Jacks coming up closer to his brother. She saw Lady Jane and John Jacks approach their son's side.

"Brenda…"

"Jax, no." She shook her head. Reaching up, Brenda removed her veil and let it fall to the floor. She rose her hands and stared at the rings on her finger. They itched and it burned like it hadn't done in a month. She scrambled and scratched to get them off her fingers, then held them out to him. "Jax, I'm sorry," she said in a quivering voice.

"Brenda…" Jax looked down to the rings she offered to him, but didn't take them. He looked back up to her tear-streaked face. "Brenda, we talked about this and I asked you…"

"I know. I know, and I'm sorry. I thought I could do this." She turned around and looked to Robin and Lois. "I really thought I could," she whispered. They didn't say anything, but Lois looked disappointed. Though, Brenda had a feeling that she wasn't disappointed over her choice, just her timing.

Sighing, Brenda turned back to Jax. "I love you, Jax, I do, but not enough. Right now, I want to blame him for this, but I can't. He…" It felt wrong to say his name while she stood there in Jax's wedding gown, but it felt even more wrong to not tell the complete truth. "Luis isn't making me do this. I'm making myself do this. It's not fair to you, Jax. It wouldn't be fair for me to marry you, knowing that I don't love you enough to be your wife 'til death do us part."

She tried to give him the rings again, but he wouldn't take them. Crying, Brenda let them fall to the floor. She gathered her skirts and fled up the aisle. She could hear footsteps behind her and when she turned, she saw Jax chasing her. Then, he was stopped by Jason. She heard him tell him, "Just let her go." Brenda turned and continued to run. She ran until she was on the steps of the church, and then, she had no place to go.

Brenda looked down at herself and cried harder. Covered in layers of silk and satin, she was uncomfortable. She wanted to rip the dress off and keep running, but there was no way to get out of it on her own. It had taken Robin, Lois and Lady Jane to get her into it. There was no way she would get out of it without their help.

Desperate, but unable to push herself forward, Brenda collapsed on the steps of the cathedral. Oddly, as she closed her eyes, she wondered if Lila would be disappointed in her. Lila Quartermaine wasn't directly related to her, but she was the closest thing she had to a maternal figure in Port Charles. Lila had been sitting there, her wheelchair against the first pew, and Brenda thought she'd seen something in her eyes when she fled. But, was it disappointed? No… She thought it might have been relief. Lila had never been that big a fan of Luis, and she'd always liked Jax, but… She would want her to be happy, right? And she had to know, even if Brenda wouldn't admit it to herself, that she wouldn't have been truly happy married to Jax.

Suddenly, there were people at her sides. Robin. Lois. Sam. Monica Quartermaine. Ned Ashton was even there. Out of all of them, Ned was probably the one that would really give her looks of disappointment. Lois may have understood, but Ned would just tell her that she was screwing up again. So, she didn't look at Ned. She looked at everyone else, but she didn't look at Ned. She looked up at Monica and asked, "Is Lila mad at me?"

Monica looked shocked for a moment, then shook her head. "No," she said quietly. "But, she's worried. Come back inside, Brenda."

"I can't. I shouldn't have gone in there in the first place." Her words pushed through the thick stickiness of her voice. "I knew it was wrong." She looked around to all of their faces. "I knew when he first came to town, ya know?" She wiped her face and was glad that waterproof mascara had been invented. She looked bad enough with red eyes. She didn't need black lines, either. "And now… Now, this is gonna be all over the tabloids and I could have avoided it if I'd have just called it off earlier."

"Brenda, we all know you don't care about the tabloids." Robin wiped her face with a white handkerchief. "This is about what makes you happy. But, you know, you should have done this earlier."

"I know, I know, but I thought… I thought I could do it, ya know?" She shook her head. "I have to get out of this dress."

"What?"

"Take it off!" She pulled at the bodice, and if it were made of cheaper material, it would have ripped. As it were, the bodice only snapped back against her chest. "Take it off! Get me out of this right now! I don't care that I'm outside! Just take it off!"

The women looked at each other, but as Brenda pulled more and more, there was nothing they could say. Lois, Robin, Sam, and Monica worked at the laces in the back, tugging and sliding, until finally, the dress fell loose around her. Brenda stood up quickly and stumbled out of the dress. She was certain that she would tumble to her death down the stairs, but someone was there to catch her before she could get very far.

Brenda clawed at Luis's arms, then pushed herself back to her feet. She stood on the church's steps in a white corset and panties, hose and heels, and her first instinct was to slap him. As her hand fell from his face, she heard a collective gasp loud enough to let her know that there were more people at the doors of the church.

"Bastard!" Brenda screamed. "How could you do this to me!" Luis didn't say anything. His hand went to his stinging cheek, but other than that, he didn't move. There was no sick smirk of victory or malevolence. He was blank, and he would stay that way until she was done. Brenda knew this.

"How could you do any of it!" She hit him again, her fists balled tightly. She struck his chest, but he still didn't say anything. "You made it impossible for me to be happy with anybody else! You said you'd come and get me, but you didn't come in there and get me!" Brenda crumpled to the steps and the remains of her wedding gown slid against her. She drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around her legs, and lowered her head. She cried over and over again, "Why didn't you come get me? Why didn't you take care of it for me? You always take care of it, Luis. Why didn't you come and get me?"

There was movement and noise around her, but Brenda didn't look up to see what was going on. She heard Ned say something harsh, but his words were garbled beneath Lois's shouts for him to leave Luis alone. Now, Ned wanted to play the hero, but he hadn't come to her rescue, either. He had to know that she was doing something wrong, but he hadn't stopped the wedding. He didn't want what was best for her. He wanted to be right.

A shadow hovered over her, and then hands arms slid around her. She was lifted from the steps and Brenda curled against the body. She knew Luis's smell, his touch, his kiss on her forehead. She'd always known it, and had often felt and smelt those things in her sleep. He whispered against her face, "Because Jason wouldn't let me inside," then turned and walked down the stairs. Brenda put her arms around Luis's neck, pressed her partially dressed form against him as close as she could get, and let Luis Alcazar carry her away from the wrong wedding and lead her eventually to the one that she was actually meant to have. The only one that, in her heart, she knew she ever really wanted.


End file.
